Losing your identity as a person

       My newest mommy struggle is seperating what used to be Shannon from what is now Mother Shannon.  I hate when women resort to not caring about having a social life or anything but their children when they become mothers.  I will not resort to that.  Right now that it is my struggle and the tension when talking to John about it. 
       Currently when John is working we are working completely opposite schedules.  My "broken record" life as I call it begins with waking up at the crack of dawn with my little blonde nugget.  My strawberry blonde nugget wakes up around 7:30 or 8.  My day consists of being a short order cook, craft organizer,  maid, chaffeur to kindergarden, a possible hour of peace while Dominick is napping and Joe is at school.  Only an hour of peace if I don't have laundry to do or am not so exhausted I fall asleep sitting up.  Kindergarden pickup is chaos especially if I have to wake up Dominick and bring him with.  Yesterday consisted of running two blocks with a half asleep 2 year old wrapped in a blanket because I was running late picking Joe up.  Go home, feed them a snack, finger paint.  I luckily planned a crockpot dinner earlier so John wouldnt have to worry about making food for the boys and him when he got home.  I had 15 minutes to get ready luckily because his parents were home, then rushed off to work..  This is my day almost everyday.  Kids all day, go to work, come home, have a glass of wine.  Wake up early, kids all day, go to work, come home, have a glass of wine.  Doesn't that sound so amazing??  I love my kids with all of my heart.  They are my world.  I love planning good dinners so they look back when they are older and remember us sitting at the dinner table together(minus me since I'm never home at night)....I've gotten so lost in the mix and I don't know how to get out of it.
          I want to go out with my friends, have a romantic date with my husband, take a drive for whoever knows how long and blast music, have a spa day...I could come up with a 1000 ideas.  I guess all of these things make me feel selfish.  Maybe that's why I never do anything for myself because I was brought up never being put first.  I'm sure a therapist would tell me that.  LOL...Off my soapbox and morning motherly vent.  Everyone have a fabulous day.  Remember to do something for yourself today.  Even if its for 15 minutes.  I'm planning to meditate today and take a nap.